“So much of spiritual life involves one’s interior journey, yet for most of us spirituality gets expressed – even transformed – only in our relationships with others.”
– Philip Simmons, Learning to Fall
We had two perfect weeks.
Two amazing, soul inspiring, life affirming, LOVE affirming weeks out of time and reality, suspended in a golden bubble.
No one can take those two weeks away.
They cannot be tainted, they cannot be REPLICATED, but they will be treasured forever in my heart.
I will remember those two weeks.
I will forget that phone conversation when you tried to wrest them from me.
I will not wonder if I will ever see you again; that is not for me to decide. The flow of the Universe brought us together, and only the flow of the Universe can bring us back together. If we never come back together, then we were only ever meant to have those two weeks, and I am not what you need, and you are not what I
I do Love you. I will always Love you. Unconditionally. No matter how far away you are, or how much time passes. I Love you.
This is not a possessive Love. I do not expect anything in return.
Just know, that out there in the world, there is someone who saw the best in you once, and will always believe you can be that person. Someone who shared the best of herself with you. You brought that out; you brought out the best in me.
You can’t love me.
You can’t see me.
You can’t hear me.
You can’t feel me.
But I love you. I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I don’t hate you.
I don’t need to hate to let go, not anymore.
I don’t forgive you; there is nothing to forgive. Thank you for accepting my love, may it set you free.
There is nothing to forgive. Would I forgive you for being human? I am only human myself.
You did what you felt you needed to do. I do not take it personally. Yes I am in pain, but the pain is mine; you did not cause it.
You did not break my heart; I broke my heart. I broke my heart with expectation, with need, with my inability to accept. I broke my heart with fear.
There is nothing to forgive. You are on your journey, I am on mine. We both choose the quality of our passage, although we may not always choose the means.
“The universe is made up of experiences that are designed to burn out your attachment, your clinging, to pleasure, to pain, to fear, to all of it. And as long as there is a place where you’re vulnerable, the universe will find a way to confront you with it.”
– Ram Dass
There is no easy path. I keep asking myself “why do I always choose the harder path?”, but the real question is “why do I choose to suffer over the journey?”.
There is no easy path; there is no harder path.There are just many paths. Each with obstacles and challenges. Each leading to the same destination. And there is the choice to suffer or to accept; to embrace LOVE or to be ruled by FEAR.
Now that I accept responsibility for my own suffering, there is no reason for blame. Anger at all past hurts fades away, and is replaced by understanding. A new level of clarity is reached, and with it comes a sense of awakening freedom; a soft light emerging on the horizon, harkening the dawn of a new day.